Poor Marcia Clark.
It’s bad enough that she’s prosecuting the most mediagenic murder trial of the century.
As the chief woman on the O.J. Simpson murder case, she has faced relentless scrutiny, not for her prosecutorial prowess, but for her rather, shall we say, questionable taste in fashion.
They talked about her poodle ‘do. They talked about her mole. They talked about her legs. Mr. Blackwell of Worst Dressed List fame skewered her. Even Judge Lance Ito commented on her short skirts.
In frustration, Clark went out and got a makeover.
Still, while I applaud her right to look as bad as any male attorney, I must say this: Even with a makeover, Marcia Clark needs making over.
On Monday, Clark apparently decided to impersonate a waiter, donning a white Nehru jacket and black pleated skirt. On Tuesday, the day the trial really began, Clark did a turn as an ’80s Dress for Success career woman with a prim and lacy bow-tied blouse and navy power suit. And her hair is, well, now a shorter poodle ‘do.
But turnabout is fair play. The boys didn’t fare so well on the fashion front, either.
Prosecutor Christopher Darden (clad in black pinstripes) began the trial by announcing that he had the “toughest job in town”-leading the opening statements. That may be true, but his task wasn’t made easier by his monotone delivery and the 5 o’clock shadow crawling over his face and head.
On the Dream Team side, Robert Shapiro was inappropriately flashy in a denim-blue shirt, brown suit and zingy diamond-patterned tie. The Juice looked haggard in a slate gray get-up that washed out his complexion.
For Johnnie Cochran Jr., getting rid of the gold-rimmed glasses and pinkie ring would help. A lot. And F. Lee Bailey’s brown suit appeared to be festooned with dandruff flakes.
From the neck up, Judge Ito was a fashion “don’t,” with his ’70s aviator frame glasses, wimpy beard and Only-the-Hair-Club-for-Men-knows-for-sure hairdo. From the neck down, Ito was a “do.”
Then again, he was wearing fashion-forward black.
The Case of the Missing Nose
On the February issue of Mademoiselle, Kate Moss peers out from the cover, minus a nose.
Just what happened to the former waif’s schnoz? Was she the victim, perhaps, of an overzealous airbrusher? Did Johnny Depp bite it off during a hotel rampage?
“It’s there,” says Elizabeth Crow, Mademoiselle editor-in-chief, who insists that no airbrushing was used in any of their photos. “If you cover up the shadow that her hair makes, you can see that her nose is perfectly well there.”